Thursday, March 18, 2010 | By: janet

The Non-Delivery Details

Here is a copy of the email I sent out to family and friends yesterday afternoon/early evening.

I'm sure I don't need to explain my feelings right now. And amazingly I refrained from saying to the docs "I told you so". Unfortunately I am exhausted and in a great deal of pain and discomfort (solely due to "violation" exams). I'm up long enough to shower, then back in bed to rest and relax per Gibbs' orders. We did get in a nice nap this afternoon, but it is not making up for the loss of sleep by any measure!

We arrived at the hospital at 12:15 am to be induced. At that time I was 3 cm. Every 30 minutes my blood pressure was taken and my pitocin increased. Even with the first smallest possible iv dose of 6 ml of pitocion, contractions were 1-3 minutes apart.

Then, 7-8 hours later at a rate of 48 ml, right before Dr. R left for the day and Dr. W came on shift I was.... 3 cm and at station -2. (Stations are, as best as I can describe, baby's heads location shifting down for arrival- they proceed like this -3, -2, -1, 0, +1, +2, +3). And I was still very much posteriorly lined up (meaning the opening was not in line with the birth canal at all)- which made the internal violation exams agonizing.

So yea, that was like NO PROGRESS. No progress, no sleep (though they kept telling me to- as if you could with every 30 minute stuff happening), and only 2 small containers of jello since 8 pm last night.

And I refrained from chewing out the doctor. Instead I opted to just stare at the ceiling and think really impure thoughts about how I could gain revenge on him. I kid... maybe.

Dr. W missed my little expressive discontent to Gibbs about how this is exactly what I feared, I was exhausted, I never agreed to this, I was starving, I never wanted to do this and had been vocalizing this for months, etc. But Dr. W managed to make it in just in time to see me just staring at the ceiling, not saying a word or making a sound with tears just streaming. I'm sure my womanly ability to shoot a heinously death glare spoke volumes. So I was offered to go home if I wanted.

After much discussion between Gibbs and I, us and the nurse, us and the doctor... I opted to be violated again before making my final decision to go home or not to. The problem remained that due to her station position they could not risk breaking my water to speed things up because we risked a compressed/prolapsed umbiblical cord, on top of the loop around her neck, as she was nowhere near where she needed to be station-wise.

I requested the internal hoping for progress, and that news like that would re-energize me to keep pressing forward. This time the nurse did the violating, and even still... NO PROGRESS. After 9.5 hours I decided that was it, I was done and coming home!

I have a regularly scheduled ob appt tomorrow (Thursdsay) with Dr. H that thankfully I never cancelled! And let me say, the appt will be nothing but a very frank, straight shooting appt.

Why? Because I'm rescheduled to do this all over again, tentatively at 12:15 am Friday morning- yea, basically 30 hours away. My concern: due to the time you're still talking exhaustion and starvation breaking me down before I probably would break under normal circumstances.

Not to mention, I've already been told they would have to be 'aggressive' and take this on full force to make sure I actually deliver. What is agressive? It's the final two doses I can take of pitocin. After 48 it does to 50-something and then maxes at 72. After 72, which may or may not spur labor, I will be hooked up internally to a uterine monitor to tell them how much higher of a dose they can "safely" go. Sounds comforting and reassuring... wouldn't you say?

Added for you, my favorite blog readers...
I'd really like to know what and how they think between Wednesday 12:15 am and Friday 12:15 am just WHAT and HOW MUCH progress they think I'm going to make. Unfortunately due to my blood pressures I have no choice but to have She Number Three by Monday.

I'm still exhausted this morning. My appointment is in a few hours, so I cannot sleep in. If, and that's a MIGHTY if, I show up at 12:15 tonight to the hospital for another induction, I will be more exhausted tonight than Tuesday night (technically Wednesday morning).

I cannot tell you how stunned I am over all of this.


Heather said...

Oh Janet,

I thought I was going to come here today and see a picture of beautiful she #3. I"m so sorry the induction was such a nightmare. Maybe your body will decide on its own that Friday is actually the day! I sure hope o. I'm saying prayers for you and that little one! Hang in there. All these difficulties will be worth it when you get to hold that little girl. Hugs!

Ronnica said...

Yuck! I'm praying for you...and praying that you're sleeping right now! I had no idea that sometimes the baby isn't born when labor is induced until I heard of this happening a few months ago. How frustrating! said...

I'm so sorry! Inductions can definitely be a struggle and can totally relate and feel your pain! I'm hoping that right now you have a baby in your arms or at least further along to having one!

Sending love and hugs your way!

Contessa Kris said...

Stopping in to see how you're doing only to read about this induction nightmare. I had the same thing with dd#2. Doctors are crazy sometimes. I'm praying you have a baby to play with now and all the labor and delivery is becoming a distant memory. Blessings to you and your family!

The Church Lady said...

It is Monday as I leave you this comment and I pray that She Number 3 was born by now and all is well. I am so sorry to hear about your bad experience. Ugh!!

Ronnica said...

Thinking of you and your new baby girl (that I hope has made her entrance into this world by now!)...I hope all is well!